I’m starting to think ADHD isn’t an isolated condition.

Being a mum of two ADHD kids, having a work role that has me working with neuro-diverse children every day and being ADHD myself, means that I have plenty of opportunity to observe ADHD behaviour.
And over the past few years (and months in particular) an idea has been nagging at me that I think needs exploring.
I wonder if ADHD, as a separate, independent disorder, actually exists. I wonder if perhaps we aren’t just all on the ASD spectrum, whether ADHD (in varying degrees) isn’t just co-morbid with ASD but part of it, and those of us diagnosed with ADHD are just at the ‘high-functioning ‘ end of this spectrum with more ADHD traits than Autism ones.
The current medical perspective is that ADHD is not part of the Autism. My response is, why not? Maybe we need to redefine this condition and maybe ADHD should be included as a characteristic of Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Hear me out.
I’m well aware that the current thinking is that there is overlap between the two disorders and that there are lots of lists which highlight the supposed clear distinctions between them. However, when I look at those lists, my children and I don’t fit neatly into only one of those lists, and neither do many of the individuals with ASD I know. So the ‘distinction’ making list, fails.
In fact, the distinctions only seem to hold up if we compare an ADHD individual with an individual who presents with significant Autism traits.  So, what of those who are at the ‘high functioning’ end of the Autism spectrum? At this point, the distinctions become far less apparent, even blurred.

To explain, let’s look at this table from Understood.org (a generally wonderful site, I should add)
At first glance, this seems clear and simple. But watch as I highlight a few issues (see green text)

ADHD Autism
What is it? neurodevelopmental condition that makes it hard for kids to concentrate, pay attention, sit still and curb impulsivity. A range of neurodevelopmental conditions that causes challenges with social skills, communication and thinking. Repetitive behaviors are also part of autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
Signs you may notice, depending on your child
  • Seems forgetful, easily distracted or daydreamy
  • Appears not to listen and has trouble following directions
  • Is prone to tantrums and meltdowns due to frustration or lack of impulse control
  • Struggles with organization and completing tasks
  • Has trouble staying on task unless an activity is very enjoyable
  • Struggles with social skills
  • Struggles to sit still during quiet activities, such as mealtimes or during independent work time at school
  • Has trouble waiting his turn and being patient
  • Is constantly “on the go” or moving; fidgets and needs to pick up and fiddle with everything
  • Interrupts people, blurts things out inappropriately and may struggle with nonverbal cues
  • Acts without thinking and may not understand the consequences of his actions
  • May overreact to sensory input, like the way things sound, smell, taste, look or feel
  • Plays roughly and takes physical risks
  • Avoids eye contact and/or physical contact
  • Has delayed speech (or no speech) or repeats phrases over and over 
  • Is prone to meltdowns due to sensory processing issues, anxiety, frustration or communication difficulties
  • Gets upset by changes in routine
  • Struggles with social skills (yep – on both lists)
  • Uses excessive body movements to self-soothe (e.g., rocking, flapping hands)
  • Has obsessive interests and experiences perseveration
  • Is constantly “on the go” or moving; fidgets and needs to pick up and fiddle with everything
  • Is very advanced verbally, but struggles with nonverbal cues
  • Has trouble showing understanding of other people’s feelings and his own
  • Reacts strongly to the way things sound, smell, taste, look or feel (sensory processing issues)
  • Has trouble with safety and danger awareness

Let’s look at these ‘distinct’ Autism Spectrum Disorder traits.

  1. Challenges with social skills – it would be fair to say that the ADHDers I’ve encountered all have difficulties with social skills to some degree. Some act silly for the sake of engaging their peers in a bid to ‘win’ friendship, unaware that they are missing key social cues which would otherwise alert them to the fact that the bystanders are laughing at them, not with them, and might be entertained but have not had their respect won.
    Others, retreat because the anxiety and drain of dealing with people when the individual already has a low social thermostat, is tiring and difficult.
    As adults, we learn to ‘fake’ it and hope we get by without being too conspicuous but the ‘challenges with social skills’ are ever present.
    ADHDers talk too much, missing the cues that tell us we’ve gone too long or reacted too much. We’re described as very honest and loyal, anxious, hypersensitive and emotional – well, in my experience this is because we think everything is going swimmingly, miss the cues that tell us people aren’t genuine and find it hard to replicate that level of deception (ADHDers ‘wear their hearts on their sleeve’ is the romanticised interpretation of this) and so we’re shocked and upset when this finally (and by then often less than subtly) does become apparent.
    We try too hard to work at better interactions and come across as ‘odd’ or feel to exhausted by the prospect and withdraw because because people are just too much hard work to be around.
  2. Repetitive behaviours (mentioned again lower in the list as repeats words or phrases) – it needs to be noted, that not all ASD individuals are seen to do this, and the same can be said for those diagnosed with ADHD, but what of the repetitive behaviours that go un-noticed by a clinician or people in general? Surely repetitive behaviours are only identified if they are significantly overt?
    As an ADHDer, I’m now aware of a repetitive motion I make in the back of my throat, opening and closing the airway to my nasal cavity. It was my husband that pointed it out to me when we were first together because he could hear me doing it very quietly when we’d watch TV, completely unaware. Since then, I’ve caught myself doing this constantly and stop when I notice, but it is a repetitive thing that I just do. I also rub the side of my thumb nail against my middle or ring finger nail, and I bite the inside of my cheek when I’m stressed and when my ADHD medication is wearing off – a compulsive thing which I tell myself to stop (because eating anything salty or acidic later will hurt) but find myself doing again seconds later.
    No-one else would notice these behaviours. They’re subtle and internal. And that brings me to another point. ADHDers suffer chronically with ‘ear worms’ – pieces of music, text, conversation (ie: repetitive words and phrases..) , sounds that we play over and over and over in our heads, sometimes initially deliberately because we’re ‘playing with them’ but they stay long after, unintentionally and frustratingly. This is partly why we feel as though the world is quieter when medicated, as this diminishes.
    I’ve watched my children closely and they both also have subtle repetitive behaviours, neck clicks, nail biting, etc and they’ve shared that they have the same internal patterns of repetitive thought as I’ve described also. A clinician probably wouldn’t spot them.
    It seems strange that things like nail-biting, tooth-grinding or the very noticeable jiggling of the leg exhibited by many ADHDers  when they have to sit still, aren’t noted as repetitive behaviours. These urges are the reason why ADHD kids were the first to take up, and the last to lay down their fidget spinners (long after the craze had ended and it was ‘cool’ to have them). We recognise their need for these things and provide tools to manage them, and yet they are labelled as ‘fidgeting’ not repetitive. By contrast things like hand flapping or finger flicking are noted as ASD repetitive behaviours. Why the distinction? The only difference appears to be the degree of visibility of the repetitive behaviour, not its existence alone.
  3. Avoids eye contact/physical contact – ADHDers will hold your gaze while they are interested in what you’re saying (if they’re trying) though more often than not they’ll be fidgeting while listening and will do so intermittently when telling you something they’re interested in. But watch what happens if they don’t really like the person or have been hurt or disappointed in them, the eye contact becomes nearly impossible. It feels physical, the inability to lift your head and have your face level with theirs. Doing so brings on a feeling of seriously uncomfortable exposure, maybe because we ‘wear our hearts on our sleeve’ and feel the person will know the depth of how we’re feeling before we’re ready to share it with them. We can’t cover up our hurt/rage – we’re absolute rubbish at faking being happy/pleasant so we avoid having to do so.
    The only exception to this is when we’re angry and ready to say so. Then you’ll get more eye contact than you probably have had ever from the ADHDer!
    As for physical contact, catch a relaxed ADHDer (it happens occasionally) and they’re more likely to want and appreciate physical contact, but, to an already irritated, fidgety and agitated ADHDer, anything more than a quick hug can feel like restraint and it’s infuriating. We’re like ferrets – on the go (and wrestling out of embraces after what feels like a polite amount of time – 3 seconds) , or floppy and snuggly. No in-between. Understandably, people don’t always see us as warm and affectionate if they aren’t around us a lot and miss the opportunity to see us in floppy mode.
  4. Is prone to meltdowns (due to sensory processing issues, anxiety, frustration or communication difficulties) Oh, look. this one appears in both though at first glance it appears for different reasons, with the ASD child melting down to sensory processing issues…. but wait, look further down the ADHD column and we see, May overreact to sensory input, like the way things sound, smell, taste, look or feel’. (also known as having sensory issues!!!!!!)
    Next it mentions anxiety. Anxiety is the most common co-morbid condition in ADHDers, so again – highly likely to be melting down for the same reason. Frustration can also be the cause of ADHD meltdowns, when the child has missed social cues and got into trouble, can’t fathom why someone has done X, can’t disengage quickly from a task they’ve hyperfocused on etc. And as for communication, ADHDers are really poor at self-regulating, and when any individual (ADHD or not) is highly aroused (upset, angry etc) the first thing to go is our ability to use our verbal/linguistic skills. So, yes, communication at this point becomes especially difficult for an ADHDer and meltdowns are likely. In an ASD child this may mean a complete shutdown of verbal/linguistic skills and what looks like a refusal to speak and running away/hiding, in an ADHD child, you might get a few choice words as they exit themselves in looks like angry defiance. Again, the difference is in the degree of this characteristic, but is shared by both.
  5. Gets upset by changes in routine – Interestingly, the ASD list doesn’t explain why, but this is a trigger for ADHDers too, partly for the shared reason of generalised anxiety, but also because of the ADHDer’s struggle with executive functioning. We take a long time to gouge out routines (which support our executive functioning – organising and time management) so a change or disruption to this can really send us into a flap as we risk losing control and facing the consequences that often follow (being late to a place or for a deadline, forgetting something important etc).
  6. Struggles with social skills (on both lists)
  7. Uses excessive body movements to self-soothe (e.g., rocking, flapping hands) Not all ASD individuals exhibit ‘excessive’ body movements, but what is interesting is that the very same strategies employed to aid self-soothing in ASD children, are recommended for ADHDers. They like to be wrapped up and cocooned under heavy, weighted blankets, in swinging hammocks, in dark cosy tents etc.
    An upset ADHD boy is easy to spot when you walk into a classroom. They’re the one hidden deep within their hoodie, with their hands in their pockets tugging down to increase the sensation of pressure all around them. Ask them to remove it, and you’ll get a meltdown.
    I also wonder if fidgeting – a response to needing to move and not being able to, isn’t a way to ‘self-soothe’ that uncomfortable feeling away. The difference here appears to be only the size of the movement, not the function behind the behaviour. 
  8. Has obsessive interests and experiences perseverationJust like ASD individuals, speak to an ADHDer and they’ll have something they are completely interested in to talk your ear off about – for weeks at a time if you let them. They will be experts in anything they find more than mildly interesting. The ADHD tendency to focus and fixate gets called ‘hyperfocus’ and left to their own devices they are happy to ‘persevere’ with the activity/idea as though it is an obsession. The only difference seems to be that the ASD individual maintains their interest in a limited amount of interests, whilst the ADHDer will be completely obsessed until the next obsession presents itself. The intensity is the same, just not the duration.
  9. Is constantly “on the go” or moving; fidgets and needs to pick up and fiddle with everything (ADHD much?)
  10. Is very advanced verbally, but struggles with nonverbal cues – Dealt with non-verbal cues above and somehow this sounds just like the chatterbox ADHDer, who misses the ‘you’re boring me’ cues.
  11. Reacts strongly to the way things sound, smell, taste, look or feel (sensory processing issues) Again a repeat of what was mentioned earlier, and surely very similar to the ADHD descriptor of ‘ May overreact to sensory input, like the way things sound, smell, taste, look or feel’. To be fair, it isn’t a given that every ASD individual will ‘react strongly’ or ‘over-react’ – there are variations of the response to this trigger, just as there are amongst ADHDers.
  12. Has trouble with safety and danger awareness  – As do ADHDers thanks to their lack of impulse control and executive functioning. Statistically ADHD teen boys are recognised as being in the highest risk category for ‘risky behaviours’ and early mortality. In many cases, the ADHDer knows the dangers but is vulnerable because of their impulsivity, and in other cases, poor executive functioning impedes the individual’s ability to plan, think ahead and spot potential dangers. Again, the distinction made is one of relative difficulty/impairment, of which there is a range in both parties.

Which leaves us with just 1 descriptor which seems to be the big, all-defining one for Autism – and it is one which is now disputed. The one relating to empathy and self-awareness. Has trouble showing understanding of other people’s feelings and his own. Recognised as being very empathic, this one isn’t replicated in the ADHD side of the list, however; nearly every ADHD child I know, has had support from a counsellor or psychologist recommended at one point or another to help them with the other aspect of this descriptor, navigating the intense emotional responses they have to everyday situations. Alongside, this, the long-founded view of Autistics lacking empathy is now being reconsidered, as Autistic individuals begin to voice their own interpretations of these observations and share that on the contrary, many sense that they ‘feel too much,’ a striking similarity to an ADHDers experience.

And so, as an ADHDer myself – experiencing so many of the above traits and seeing them in varying but consistent examples amongst the many, many individuals I work and interact with, irrespective of which banner they come under – I am less and less convinced that these are two separate disorders.
Instead, I am inclined to query whether ADHD symptoms/traits are in fact symptoms/characteristics of Autism, presenting in each individual in greater or lesser amounts (as is the nature of spectrum disorders) and in which, for cases where the current ‘ADHD traits’ dominate as measurable and significant impairments, medication appears to ‘fix’ the condition.

We are perhaps nearing a time when fMRI scans may be closer to giving a definitive answer to these thoughts, but so long as diagnoses of these conditions are based so strongly on subjective observations, I will not be convinced of their accuracy.

 

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Buddhism and Archery – Getting out of the way

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My archery coach said something profound last session. ‘The bow is perfectly capable of hitting the centre, every time. What prevents it from doing so is interference from the archer.’ He meant the slight tilt, the gripping, the minute angle shifts – everything we do that prevents that arrow going straight, time after time.
And so, my job as an archer is to be as loose as possible and simply provide the potential energy and point it in the right direction.  Let the bow demonstrate its full capability.

I remembered this tonight when I was re-reading a Buddhist text about Buddha-nature. That we are all capable of being Awakened beings and possess all the qualities needed. It is our thoughts, attitudes etc which steer us away from that direct path.

Buddha-nature, the bow.

 

 

In-between ‘thriving’

despair

Photo: http://www.tribosministry.com

We are in a low at the moment. There’s too much too handle and it feels like there are no answers and no support that is helpful. We’re out of ideas, energy and inspiration.

And that’s something that bothers me immensely. It seems that despite all the studies, blogs, forums, ‘experts’ etc no-one has any real solutions to the problems that drive ADHD families into the ground.
When you’ve read everything, tried everything, seen every specialist – who tell you you are doing an incredible job (.. er…. so why are we here in your office?) heard every speaker and expert… and the problems are worse than ever and looking like they’ll only worsen. Where to then?

There is nothing worse than the utter despair and hopelessness that comes from watching a child suffer. Especially when they’re doing it to themselves and can’t see it to stop it, and won’t listen to fix it.

It feels even worse working with similar kids who are just that little bit older and recognising all of their issues in my own child.
I feel as though I’m watching a train wreck in slow motion, and I’m powerless to stop it.

I’m so thankful for my incredible husband. He is my rock. We are both aware of how lonely we feel. ADHD isolates, destroys relationships, costs you opportunities and sucks the life and laughter from even the strongest, most optimistic of families.

At some point, I’m hopeful we’ll be thriving again and I’ll be able to share our journey out of darkness, but for now there is just despair.

 

 

 

Little ‘d’s.

‘With a small ‘d’, dharma and dhamma mean the smallest elements of existence that make up a moment of consciousness, such as the heat of a room, the background sounds or the lingering taste of the orange you have just eaten, the smell of incense, the thoughts you have. All these scraps of information are dharmas or dhammas. They are in a continuous pulse of movement, of coming to be and ceasing to be; nevertheless, we experience them as continous reality. THE DHAMMAPADA

I came across the above snippet last night and it has stayed with me all day. Somehow, pausing to consider the tiny, flashes of experience which occur as part of the day has made impermanence so much more meaningful.
I often reflect on impermanence, but I seem to have always considered it in relation to the ‘bigger’ things: the big emotions, difficulties, world events;  acknowledging their impermanence certainly and that they (in the grand scheme of things) are simply flashes in the pan of the universe,  but somehow today focussing on the impermanence of the micro-elements of my experience caused a shift for me.
Today during my short morning meditation, the things which normally would have distracted me and caused me irritation, someone banging pans in the kitchen, cars/trucks in the distance etc seemed nothing. Each one, I noted as one of those micro-elements, making up consciousness and then gone, only to be replaced with the next sound, feeling, observation. And I felt silly for having been irritated by these things in the past, when they really were so very fleeting. I realised that so much of my attention had been taken up in my annoyance over the disturbance to the tranquility I was trying to find, that I had inadvertently disturbed it further. I had created suffering.

I noticed more of these during the day, being with my children, and felt happy that I was noticing the precious fleeting moments and ‘being’ in them far more fully as a result.

Will be putting ‘little ds’ in my line of sight to remind me.

 

Archery and Meditation

archer silhouette(Photo- Andreas Overland)

The whole family has recently joined an archery club. A ‘Come and Try’ session led us into this, but the feeling of calm and peace is what had us go back.

Since then we’ve bought our own bows and now each morning before work, and on return from work, I head down to the paddock to shoot for a good half hour at least.
I can’t believe this isn’t a recognised therapy for ADHD.

Standing alone in the paddock feeling the sun on my face as it rises and the cool morning  air all around me as I nock the arrow is something really special. The day is new and I’m already out there enjoying it ahead of most other people.

I take a deep breathe, bring my awareness to my body, posture and balance and raise the bow, looking ahead at the target. I draw the string to my face – feeling it rest against my cheek – never taking my eyes off the point of focus, pause … and release. Thud.
As I squint to see the result, my hand is already reaching out to my quiver for the next arrow.
And the whole process is repeated.

There’s peace in the simplicity of this ritual. It’s a meditation that lasts only a few moments, but instantly has me in ‘flow’ and time freezes as I find myself repeating the sequence over and over, for hours when time permits.

Every ADHDer should practise archery!

Gratitude Journals

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Positive Psychology is a strong focus in our household as we aim to help our children manage their ADHD and anxiety (and it helps us too, of course).

Those of us with anxiety have a tendency to over-dramatise and fixate on the negatives. Our most recent tact in dealing with this has been to ask, ‘How long did that moment really last?’ and ‘Do we really want to drag that 5 second moment out so it affects us the rest of the afternoon?’ It’s done, leave it there. And that simple advice helps.

Additionally, we’re revisiting Gratitude Journals, but this time with more emphasis on the causal effects of these positives. The aim here is to highlight how much control we have over positives – how often we have done things which contribute to them ourselves – so that we can try to reproduce them (self-efficacy). And also, to allocate sincere gratitude to other people, specifically, when they have helped make our lives wonderful.

The kids have also created academic and social goals for the year whose progress will be reflected on in their journals. They fill them out at the dinner table straight after dinner (where we’ve discussed our day so positives are fresh in their minds) and are actually enjoying them.

So in case anyone is looking to create something like this for their children, I thought I’d share the questions which appear on each page of the journals.

List 3 things you were grateful for today.

1.

2.

3. 

What caused each of these to happen? (Someone’s generosity? Your courage/persistence?)

Recall a happy memory and describe it in detail.

Describe one kind thing you did for someone else today.

What is one thing you did today which will take you closer to achieving your goals?

(Accompanying illustrations encouraged!)

Virtual Reality – Thoughts

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The Husband has always been a keen gamer and  carefully negotiated with me to get a VR set today. I myself am NOT a gamer – the games themselves agitate me and I resent the life-sucking lack of something to show for any time spent playing them

But Hubby convinced me to have a go at the VR set…. Wow.  Just wow.

I’ve had quick trials of VR before and wasn’t too impressed, but this… this was something else.

 

And after 15mins of play (understandably there were impatient kids wanting a go) I was left with a mind full of questions… and concerns.

First thing is the kids won’t be playing any fighting/shooting type games on it – period.

Second is… far out, I could seriously start to enjoy gaming…..NOOOOOOO!!!!!

And there were others but they are for another post.

The experience is incredible. There’s a period of transition as you go from reality to entering the world. At first you are aware that you are ‘in the game’ but very quickly, with the ability to ‘see’ 360 degrees with no visual or sound interruptions from the real world, you forget that nothing is real.
In the scenario I played I was in a wizard’s castle, standing behind a large table with a cauldron and various items on the table in front of me. I was able to pick these up and manipulate them. The room itself is huge and the detail was amazing. A movement to my left caught my eye and turning around I saw it was rat. He scuttled around throughout my session doing his thing. I cast a spell with the items and turned things into butterflies which flew up and around me and then landed gently on my outstretched hand. I watched them up close and in detail, glowing and softly beating their wings.
It was beautiful.
And what was interesting was my physical responses to nothing but image and sound. My husband laughed at my incredulous delight and the fact that I had stooped, as he had to look at the shelf beneath the table.  And been careful to move so as to not bump my head on a protruding part of the table, a hindrance which in reality did not exist. I believed it was there and so I acted accordingly  – despite the fact that somewhere in my consciousness I knew it wasn’t real… that part was inaccessible in the moment.

And it makes me think… we talk about cages of our own making, but what an amazing example presented itself today.

How many more obstacles do I navigate around purely because I believe them to be real?

 

 

 

Who needs a genie? Not me.

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An interesting exercise in a Positive Psychology book I’m reading led to an unexpected insight yesterday.

The task asked the reader to imagine being given 3 wishes by a genie. What would you wish for and what do the wishes tell you about your life and approach to things?

My first immediate thought was for Younger Munchkin to learn to manage his ADHD so that he can be happy, successful etc.
What struck me is I didn’t just wish it ‘fixed’ because I really do love him the way he is and the ADHD is a part of that, and who we all are. My desire is simply that he learns to manage it, so it doesn’t lead him into trouble or hurt his relationships later down the track  with others whose love is not so unconditional. My wish isn’t based on a need to change who he is, but out of fear for his future happiness.

And then I realised, that I really need to stop dreading and feeling exasperated at all the difficult situations we encounter on a day-to-day basis with him because it is THOSE many   scenarios which are providing on-going training for him and will eventually lead him to achieve my wish. In fact, there’s nothing else that could teach him better. We NEED them!

This new perspective hit home throughout today as I found myself grateful (yes, never thought I’d say it) for the spitfire and stubborn moments. Grateful for the teaching moments that arose so frequently and that these are happening now in the young years with just family (mainly) to witness it – a safe place for him to be this way and learn as he goes on his journey.

And for me to learn alongside him, all the many lessons he can offer me.

Happy New Year 2017

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I listened to Ajahn Brahm’s 2016/2017 New Year’s Eve Dhamma lecture this morning whilst I worked. He urged people to let go of their baggage from past years before entering this new one, giving several analogies which highlighted that to make room for embracing new experiences, we have to let the old stuff go.

Such good advice, and timely for us as both munchkins are now into a new phase of schooling and about to embark on new adventures. I was reminded also to let go of the future, something my anxiety makes very hard to do as I know how badly the ADHD impacts on my kids interactions and I have a lot of fears about their year ahead. The quote above from Thich Nhat Hanh perhaps sums me up?

Part of me thinks this is fair and reasonable as ADHD taints our lives so strongly, but part of me thinks we could possibly all find reasons why letting go is hard, and perhaps my ‘reasons’ are just as unjustified.

The thing that struck me most though, was Ajahn Brahms comment that all we can do is focus on the present. And if we are truly in the moment, doing what needs to be done/can be done… then THAT is what will take care of the future. It’s the ONLY thing that can lead to good things in the future. We create it now.

And with that sage advice firmly in mind, I am pledging to do my best to being more present and mindful this year.

This means:

  1. First and foremost, taking my medication every day because this is what will ensure higher rates of success in everything else I do.
  2. Eating well and getting adequate sleep, regularly
  3. Doing things I enjoy several times a week – drumming, art, sculpture, whatever.
  4. Recognising anger is useless, and unnecessary and disengaging from it for all the reasons I know I should.
  5. Being kinder to myself and allowing myself many, many chances to fail and succeed as I develop these habits.

I notice as I write that this year doesn’t involve planning to stick to routines or being more organised….for the first time in …forever.

I finally realised, that these things done now, will lead to those other things later.

Happy New Year!

A Seed is Planted

I’ve found myself encouraging my students with story ideas this term as several have chosen to write a children’s book as their personal project.
Amidst the many ideas we bounced and played with (some of them highly amusing and potential gems), I’ve found myself thinking that I’d really like to write a children’s book before I die.

Jackie French, when asked about the writing process said, ‘If you need to do lots of research for a book, you don’t know enough to write it – you won’t know what you don’t know. Books need to come from primary material, not books others have written about a subject.’

It’s made me think. I have an awful lot of ADHD related ‘primary material’ to borrow from. And I wish there’d been some good children’s books to support my children’s journey through the younger years.

I have the seed of an idea, a handful of sketches…and a dream to do something special with them.

Feeling purposeful. 🙂